think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
