seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
