i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I have fence marks all over my body
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
