How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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