I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
