I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
