Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
