Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize