Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
