you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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