Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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