office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
