all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
so much tequila, so little girl.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
