I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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