Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Vodka?
Forever.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
