I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
