You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
