This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
