It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
