you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
