I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I said "one day" and that day is not today
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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