dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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