we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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