some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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