Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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