i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
