Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
