Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
North Korea, Best Korea!
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
