Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize