I look better un-naked...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
