Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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