Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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