dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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