Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize