Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
