remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I need a beard to bite.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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