Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Randomize
