just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize