2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
