Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
