Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
