Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
