I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
