how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
That's when you crack a 10am beer
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
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And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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