i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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