My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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