My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
