Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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