My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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