In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
there is puke in my bra ... again
there is another microwave in the elevator.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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