If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
