even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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