Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Randomize
