she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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