And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So squirting runs in the family.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
