whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize